Today was the shittiest day I’ve had in a hot minute!! Last night I’m p sure the guy I’m talking to sent me a text that was meant for another girl and when I called him out on it he ignored me!! He got out of the army today so his Leo ass has been too busy soaking up attention from other ppl to talk to me!! I worked with all boys at work and we were short a person n they were really condescending/mean!! They kept acting like I was invading their territory and would put their hands on my shoulders to move me!! Fuck that!! If you are what you think about all day then I’m an obsessive controlling neurotic! I get so sick of myself I want to destroy myself

I did have a makeup artist approach me at work and say she wanted me to model for her though??

I swear I’m living with two different people inside of me

Part of the time I’m like hell yeah self improvement! Good vibes! Let’s get healthy from the inside out! I’m going to learn how to develop and grow from my weaknesses to become a healthier person!

The other part of the time I’m like fucking NOPE I’m going to be the biggest asshole! I’m going to use my weaknesses for further self destruction! I want to tear myself and others around me down when I get angry! I don’t care if this helps me I’m a two year old and I’m mad! I will fuck you up!

im trying to work out. and ive been following your way of thinking (do it if it feels right, its not punishment etc etc) except i find that im still not finding motivation. is there a way you recommend to motive yourself into working out that isnt negative? i dont want to restrict myself from food or overly work out. i just want to get healthier and get muscles! thanks for any help

Level up with yourself. Do you want to put in the work necessary to get the results or just get the results?? You say you wanna get healthy which is better than “I wanna get skinny” but you’re still going to have to do things you don’t feel like doing. Set solid goals for yourself. Is healthy to you going on a walk for half an hour a couple times a week? Or lifting weights everyday? Write down what your “ultimate” goal is for your health and work your way backwards to figure out what you need to be doing now. You can’t go straight from doing nothing to doing weights everyday. Bump it up by a session every week or two until you’re where you wanna be. I’ve found people either jump too fast into an exercise regimen and feel drained/discouraged, or aren’t aggressive enough and don’t challenge themselves which both can lead to decreased motivation. You have to really ask yourself what you’re in this for, and what YOU can do to motivate yourself. Nothing externally is going to motivate you. You have to get excited about hard work, dedication, and the sense of accomplishment you’ll have when you achieve your goals.

The reason these people do not want to see a fat body in a bikini is because traditionally, that garment is something a woman earns by proving herself attractive enough to exist. If fat women begin wearing them without shame or fear, what’s next? Will they have self-esteem? Will they demand respect? Then what will keep them in their proper place? How would conventionally attractive people judge them?

As a society, we need to be more honest in our discussions of other’s bodies. If we can’t avoid those totally unnecessary conversations, then we should at least admit the truth to ourselves: That this has nothing to do with health, and everything to do with the control we believe is our right to exert over others.